Parents - Role models

Be a Parent - Be a Role Model

“Madam my father is a drunkard, but I like him very much. He quarrels with my mother and uncles.” said by a child during a counseling session. Last couple of weeks our Don Bosco-CHILDLINE dealt with a number of cases of children affected by family problems. Most intriguing information is that even when parents are quarrelling and there are constant fights and children are forced to take sides, the presence both parents are always what children want. Children imitate their parents in initial learning process. In the course of continuous pressure on children their mental health gives way.

Children are sensitive and astute with an uncanny ability to distinguish between adults who only talk a good game and those who play the game by the rules they preach. Parents are their children’s strongest role model and greatest influence. Children will eventually adopt many of their parents’ values and types of behavior, just as they are influenced by their parents. Children notice and respond to the way parents deal with problems, express feelings and respond to people.

As a parent, it is impossible to escape from being a model to your child. Your children will see your example—positive or negative—as a pattern for the way life is to be lived. If your child sees you doing something or acting a certain way, he is bound to try to do the same. When the parent is a smoker, the child might hold up a pencil and pretend he is doing the same.

Social scientists and genetic researchers have identified many cycles that loop from one generation to the next. Children who live in homes where parents smoke are more likely to become smokers. Parents who abuse drugs or alcohol are more likely to find their children someday do the same. Adults who were abused as children may indeed hurt their own children. And that’s not all. Parents with a low self-esteem raise children with the same affliction. There are cycles to teenage pregnancy, domestic violence, and under-education.

What you do shows your child how you want him/her to behave.  What you eat, how much you exercise, and how you look after yourself will all influence your child. What you say is also important. You can help your child to manage and control his own behavior by talking about how behavior affects other people. You can also use more complex reasoning and examples to talk about the differences between right and wrong.

Tips for role-modeling

1.      Be your best

2.      Keep a positive outlook

3.      Practice positive communication skills

4.      Take care of yourself

5.      Show respect for others and yourself

6.      Be dependable

7.      Be loyal

8.      Be attentive

9.      Teach the value of health

10.   Teach (healthy) skepticism

11.   Work on anger management

12.   Enforce consequences when your kid does something wrong

13.   Fess up when you've done something wrong

14.   Start now

Parents should thus show their children that honesty, courage, mercy, love and tolerance are as important as brilliant feats of mind and body are to retain the world’s sanity. This is something which we own to our children. Parents aren't perfect. We lose our tempers, say things we are sorry for and are not always as kind as we would like to be. We are human. It is important to admit our mistakes, say we're sorry, and show that we try to make things right.

Being a positive role model for your children is one of the most important and rewarding things you can do for your child.