family wrecked

Incest - The cause of family wreckage

In the past year we have made interventions in the lives of many Children at risk. Even as we try to contain the numbers through awareness and stringent actions, child sexual abuses (CSA) are on the rise. It is a deplorable fact that more than 70% of the CSA cases reported in Kerala are incest Cases. Either the parents or relatives are found to be guilty in the crimes.

The law still lacks an effective mechanism to protect a child’s identity in incest cases as often the reporting in media often indirectly reveals the identity of the child.  As many as 1,375 sexual abuse cases were registered in 2014 under the Protection of children from sexual offences Act (POCSO) 2012, whereas it was 1,124 in 2013, says Susheela Mathew, senior consultant, POCSO, Child Rights Commission.

Kollam tops the list with 165 cases followed by Thiruvananathapuram with 135, Ernakulum and Thrissur with 125 and 123 cases respectively, cites Child Rights Commission. Data availed from the Kerala Police’s website, draws a grim picture with crimes against children increasing from 1,877 in 2013 to 2,286 in 2014. The number of rape cases has also surged from 637 in 2013 to 709 in 2014.

A case study selected by us for the year of 2015 is also indicating towards this malicious trend of incest. We received information from the PRO of a leading hospital in Thiruvananathapuram, regarding pregnancy of Anjana, a  17 year old child (given name). The girl and family had come to SAT Hospital for delivery. CHILDLINE staff went to the hospital and counseled the child.  From the conversation with the girl’s family it was revealed that the abuser was her uncle (aunt’s husband).  Her father had deserted the family and her mother is currently working abroad to look after the family.  So the girl was forced to stay with her aunty. Meanwhile the accused forced her into sexual exploitation and threatened her not to disclose the matter to anyone. So her relatives brought her to Medical College to arrange her delivery with utmost secrecy and without the knowledge of her neighbors. We provided counseling and convinced them to file case and produced the child before CWC.  She was provided place to stay and facilities were arranged for delivery.  CHILDLINE informed the case at the local police station and FIR was filed. Child’s statement was recorded and later submitted before the Magistrate. And eventually abuser was arrested

The Hidden Perspective

The Don Bosco Veedu society wish to address the hidden perspective; the lack of interest shown on the victim’s part (especially that of the affected family) to file a case with the respective authorities. This problem can be interpreted in various ways. Sexual exploitation is a very broad term when it comes before the society. The common man feels that abuse on a child can only be taken in its seriousness when it has an element – rape. Social stigma associated with sexual exploitation within the family still looms large in society.

To an extent media is to be blamed for this. If there is no sensational issue there is no news.  So the issue is often sensationalized without any sensitivity to the victim. When they manage to make the general public believe that all we want is to report the facts, the inside story is something very different. The cases telecasted on TV or printed on such editions reveal names of the perpetrators. This can in turn be point to the victim. She/he is shamefaced in front of the public.

Another aspect is strictly economical. Majority of the CSA cases are found to have taken place within families below poverty line, colonies or other nomadic settlements. Since they belong to very poor financial background, the issues are usually settled among themselves.

With the implementation of POCSO Act, things have changed for the better but what about the brazen intrusion into the private space called ‘home’? When a man abusing his daughter is reported, the summons is received by the father as he is the guardian. The hapless mother who will have to care for her other children will not back the child as she is dependent on the father, says P E Usha, Director, Mahila Samakhya Society and a child rights activist.    

In August 2015, Anjana (given name) gave birth to a boy child and mother gave a request letter to CHILDLINE pleading that she wants to surrender the child. With the help of CWC, we transferred the infant to a fit facility. The girl is currently staying at a shelter home and the baby has been given in adoption. Anjana is attending vocational training classes and wishes to forget her past and dreams of being a pilot. Anjana is safe now, but how many more are out there in need of help?? 

effect of porn on kids

Pornography - The Real Danger

Rohan (given name) an 11 year old boy studying in 6^th standard at a reputed school at Trivandrum, was called up by the CHILDLINE Team for a session of counselling. After almost 20 minutes of patient listening and interaction with the child, the counsellor received one of the most gruesome and appalling cases in recent history of Child helpline.

The boy was part of a six member gang (all belonging to similar age group and grade) who spent their days finding pleasure in sexually assaulting another classmate, Mini (given name)  an 11 year old girl. (Is it possible?). Detailed counselling brought out the culprit. Explicit videos shown by older boys of the school were the major influence that made the kids to experiment the abhorrent crime on their classmate. Another shocking revelation was that the acts were committed upon ‘mutual consent’ of the girl child! Detailed follow up revealed that the boys had access to porn from their neighbours, and even elder brothers.  And as always the parents had absolutely no idea that their children were involved in such heinous activities. 

Today, children are being sexualized very early, in part because they are exposed to sexually explicit material in movies, television, advertisements, internet, cell phones, music and other media earlier than ever. With widespread access to the Internet, curious teens may accidentally or intentionally be exposed to millions of pages of material that are uncensored, sexually explicit, often inaccurate and potentially harmful.

Children as young as 8 and 9 are coming across sexually explicit material on the Internet and in other media. Although research is just beginning to assess the potential damage, there is reason to believe that early exposure to sexual content may have the following undesirable effects:

Early Sex

 Research has long established that teens who watch movies or listen to music that glamorizes drinking, drug use or violence tend to engage in those behaviours themselves. More teens were exposed to sexual content in movies, the earlier they started having sex and the likelier they were to have casual, unprotected sex.

Media messages normalize early sexual experimentation and portray sex as casual, unprotected and consequence-free, encouraging sexual activity long before children are emotionally, socially or intellectually ready.

High-Risk Sex

The earlier a child is exposed to sexual content and begins having sex, the likelier they are to engage in high-risk sex

Sex, Love, Relationship and Addictions. 

Not every child who is exposed to sexual content will struggle with a mental health disorder, but research shows that early exposure to pornography is a risk factor for sex addictions and other intimacy disorders. With the widespread availability of explicit material on the Internet, these problems are becoming more prevalent and are surfacing at younger ages.

Sexual Violence 

Early exposure (by age 14) to pornography and other explicit material may increase the risk of a child becoming a victim of sexual violence or acting out sexually against another child. For some people, habitual use of pornography may prompt a desire for more violent or deviant material, including depictions of rape, torture or humiliation. If people seek to act out what they see, they may be more likely to commit sexual assault, rape or child molestation.

Preserving Our Children’s Youth

Early exposure to sexual content in the media may have a profound impact on children’s values, attitudes and behaviours toward sex and relationships. Unfortunately, media portrayals do not always reflect the message parents want to send. Here are a few ways that parents can ensure their messages are heard:

• Know what your children are watching, playing and listening to and take advantage of teachable moments to discuss any inappropriate content or behaviours with them.

• Set and enforce limits around screen time.

• Show only age appropriate contents. Filter even advertisements shown between age appropriate contents.

• Make use of Internet filters and parental controls (link is external).

• Don’t say that you are too old to learn the possibilities of cell phones. Make sure to learn all possibilities or else children will outsmart you and go astray using your own phones.

• Share your family’s values and expectations regarding sex and relationships.

• Talk to your child about media representations of sex, relationships and gender roles and teach them to question the accuracy and intent of the messages they receive.

• Model healthy, respectful relationships and self-worth.

For most families, banning media from the home isn’t a realistic option. After all, most children (8 to 18 year-olds) devote an average of seven and a half hours to media in a typical day. The goal isn’t to avoid the issue, but to approach it head-on so that your children learn about sex and relationships from their most trusted source: you.

How Pornography/Explicit Videos Harms Children?

·         Threatens to Make Children Victims of Sexual Violence.

·         Frequently Results in Sexual Illnesses, Unplanned Pregnancies, and Sexual Addiction.

·         May Incite Children to Act Out Sexually against Other Children.

·         Shapes Negative Attitudes and Values

Children process sexual and violent material differently than adults. We may not think children actually retain what they see and don’t understand. But in reality, children are paying much more attention than we think, and not always to the things we think, either.

malnutrition

Nutrition for Healthy Children

On 12-2-2016, our child helpline received an information about a baby boy (2 ½ months) and a girl (2 yrs). A Public Health Nurse gave the tipoff that the children were not given proper care by her mother who was leading an immoral life. The younger child was not receiving minimum nutrition and appeared to be on the verge of chronic starvation. As per the information, our CHILDLINE Staff conducted the regular case follow up. The situation witnessed at the child’s home was simply intolerable. At the time of visit, child’s mother was away and only the grandmother was there as caretaker. The lady was handicapped and not capable of looking after the children. Upon further examination, it was revealed that the child was not even fed with the required amount of breast milk. We rescued the children and their mother and got permission to accommodate them at a Govt shelter home. 

World Health Organization (WHO) says that malnutrition is by far the largest contributor to child mortality globally, currently present in 45 percent of all cases. Underweight births and inter-uterine growth restrictions are responsible for about 2.2 million child deaths annually in the world. Deficiencies in vitamin A or zinc cause 1 million deaths each year. In the above mentioned case the right to adequate nutrition has been negated. Giving effect to children’s right to adequate nutrition begins with ensuring proper nutrition in uterus and during the first two years. It also means ensuring the nutritional needs of girls and women of childbearing age and pregnant and lactating women are met. These groups are entitled to adequate nutrition and health for their own well-being, as reflected in Article 12 of the Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) by the UNICEF.

Signs and symptoms of malnutrition in children include:

• Loss of fat
• Breathing difficulties, a higher risk of respiratory failure
• Depression
• Higher risk of hypothermia - abnormally low body temperature
• The total number of some types of white blood cells falls; consequently, the immune system is weakened, increasing the risk of infections.
• Higher susceptibility to feeling cold
• Longer healing times for wounds
• Longer recover times from infections
• Longer recovery from illnesses
• Reduced muscle mass
• Reduced tissue mass
• Tiredness, fatigue, or apathy
• Irritability.

In more severe cases:

• Skin may become thin, dry, inelastic, pale, and cold
• Eventually, as fat in the face is lost, the cheeks look hollow and the eyes sunken
• Hair becomes dry and sparse, falling out easily
• Sometimes, severe malnutrition may lead to unresponsiveness (stupor)
• If calorie deficiency continues for long enough, there may be heart, liver and respiratory failure
• Total starvation is said to be fatal within 8 to 12 weeks (no calorie consumption at all).

The United Nations educational guides for children classify the rights outlined in the Convention on the Rights of the Child as the "3 Ps": Provision, Protection, and Participation. Among the three, ‘Provision’ clearly states the right of a child to be fed with a balanced diet for proper physical and mental development; Provision: Children have the right to an adequate standard of living, health care, education and services, and to play and recreation. These include a balanced diet, a warm bed to sleep in, and access to schooling.

Children who are severely malnourished typically experience slow behavioral development, even mental retardation may occur. Even when treated, it may have long-term effects in children, with impairments in mental function and digestive problems persisting - in some cases for the rest of their lives.

Malnutrition is caused mainly by not consuming the right balance of nutrients from major food groups. These include: Carbohydrates, Fruit and vegetables, Protein, Dairy, Fats and Water. Always remember the potential lifelong deadly effects of malnutrition, especially among children.

An apt quote by World Vision evidently summarizes the subject “Hunger is not just a stomach thing”

Staff PIcnic 2016

A Welcome Break

The staff members of Don Bosco Veedu Society, Trivandrum embarked on the Annual Picnic on 27/02/2016. It was a rejuvenating experience for all the members who took part in it; as a time to release the pressure from their hectic daily work life and to have some fun.

Seeking blessings from almighty for a safe and happy journey the whole team bid farewell to Trivandrum city. Breakfast was arranged at the residence of one of our staff members. Soon after the sumptuous meal, all were set for the first destination      

At around 12.00pm we reached our first Chitharal Jain Guha temple is situated at Thikkurissy village in Attoor, around 7 km from Marthandam, Tamil Nadu. There is steep walk for almost 15 minutes to reach the zenith. The 9th BC monument is worth a visit. The historic and scenic beauty of temple and its surroundings, the view from the hill top are enthralling. Due to its remote location there is no rush at any time.

Next destination was the Thripparap Waterfalls. The beautiful waterfall descending from Kodayar River is located at a distance of 60 km from Kanyakumari. It is one of the most popular falls in the Southern Tamil Nadu with its 50ft drop. The team had a refreshing dip and was all set to continue their trip.

Post lunch, Kanyakumari beach was the last item on the checklist. Reaching the beach at around 5.00pm, the group decided to split. Some went shopping at the local bazaar while others chose to spend some quality time enjoying the breathtaking view of sunset.

At around 11.00pm the whole team was back to Don Bosco Nivas, Trivandrum.